Dream

I am standing in the middle of the crowd,
Some of my friends are amongst the crowd too
But strange! everyone walk passing me...as if I am invisible.
I start feeling like I am being ignored.....in my head I m saying "well, it's OK"
Then, there I see you, and you are walking toward me...
I wave at you, you act as if you don't see, but you continue walking right toward me.
I try saying “Hi”, I can’t…my voice stuck in my throat
I can’t say a word they won’t’ come out
You are approaching...u r just on the tip on my hand, so I try to touch you....strange! I can't...I can't feel you
You don’t see me, you won’t hear me, and you won't feel me also
Finally, you walk pass me like everyone does
I shout with all my strength, but still the voices won’t come out, my voice dried out
Gosh! What’s happening? I start feel the pressure in my chest...I am being ignored.....No! this is not OK
I am left  standing and staring at ur back, staring at everyone back....they are fading…
Suddenly, I feel a really strong force pulled me out of the crowded,
Then I am dropped……
I look around no one there, so quiet, so dark, don't know where am i
I whisper “hello!”, hoping someone would answers me,
but what I heard back are my echoes...
I feel so cold, so weak, so lonely……..
I wish this is a dream……if so….Ahhh I want to wake up NOW!
But what if this is not a dream and it is reality?????

To my father.....

If God, with his kindness, would spare me a magical day to spend with whoever I want, I would be fond to spend that heaven-sent day with you, my long gone beloved father, who I have never been able to create a clear picture in my mind, but who left his traces and remembrances in the heart of his dearest family. Mother and aunts said that you were a tall and a handsome man, with brown-light skin and charming smiles. when I was a little young girl, Mom always let me sleep on her thigh because she loved looking at me carefully while she was combing my hair, and she always said that I was copied most of the features of you; and under her laughter Mom would continue, "except your skin color which is as fair as my mine, and the beauty inherent definitely from me". Mom also told me that you are a man of caring, loving, and responsible.

It was so cruel of the death nature to took you away such a good man, leaving behind his 3 months old son, a 2 years daughter, and a beloved wife, who would become a strong and a caring mother. I will never understand the nature that could heartlessly watch the falling apart of our perfect and divine family.

All those years back, I had the only one wish and that was to hold your hands and walking down the streets, where everybody would see and look at us with all their delights, admiration, and  enviousness. When I was young, it always brought me in tears whenever I saw my friends with their fathers ,especially on  a special day and occasions; and among those, Father's day always make me felt worse. There were countless times that I was secretly crying in darkness; for I miss you so much, and sometimes hated and detested so much that I was born to be a fatherless. I wished you would see me crying ,came down to me and tapping my shoulder just to tell me that "I am here". As a girl ,I remember me and my brother waving at the airplanes ,that flying over us, and shouting "Father! bring us toys and snack", as if you were on trip or on journey and would soon return home.

Whenever I was in trouble, I instinctively called for you in order to get rid of my trouble, though it might seem nonsense in sometime. I always believe that you are still living out there, and I sometimes feel you have been looking over me. The nature would capable of destroying you physically, but you are still alive in my heart and in my imagination.You will always be my everlasting, living father; and in this case the death of nature yet can’t defeat us................